Here are a few ways we could be stifling someone’s space to be themselves without need for approval. As parents who have experienced divorce we understand how we were on a path to dismantling our children’s intuition and self esteem. We now see how our words and the food we feed our children will affect them as adults.
Parents may be crowding their children’s intuition and gut feelings. This disconnection causes them to seek approval or doubt their own decision making.
We’ve written a few things that we’ve become aware of as parents.
-Not allowing a child to say “no” in certain scenarios could be disastrous for their future decision making ability. We imagine being judged or criticized to the point that we become paralyzed and incapable of making a choice that we want. We instill the idea that we do not know what is best for us because our feelings were constantly being dismissed. Coercion and guilt are tactics parents may use to manipulate a situation.
-Denying or dismissing our child’s feelings when they express not liking a situation or person. As parents we may feel we always know what is best and that our children are confused by their feelings. We have come to find out that our children are furthest from confused. They are pretty tuned into their intuition so it is important to create that space for them. If our child expresses concern for a person or situation we should communicate about their thoughts before making a decision together. If we are always telling our child “its fine” when they are upset then we are dismissing their feelings in that moment. They will develop a need to seek approval or confirmation for their choices because they haven’t been able to develop those instincts.
-Only giving praise of approval when they’ve done something you’ve wanted them to instead of freely. When they’ve made a decision for themselves that we do not see fit or necessarily approve of we should avoid criticism. This is their life at the end of the day.
-Public schools systems. A system that thrives on approval of others. A place where independent and self love is seen as an issue. There’s an expectation on the grades one should make, the kind of clothes one should wear, a specific way one must act to avoid punishments. Report cards so your parents know how much praise they should give. We see the public school system as stripping a child of their intuition and consciousness of self. Obedience, attendance and compliance.
-Feeding our children processed food. There is no greater threat to our body and mind than constantly consuming processed snacks, fast food, soda and sugar. These rob our body of vital nutrients and cloud our cognitive ability. We realized this when our health was declining as was our children’s. When we eliminated these poisons from our life our thoughts became more clear and our guts were so happy. We began to see the difference in ourselves and children because gut health is directly connected to our moods.
We believe that by giving a child space to utilize the tools they already possess they can grow to be independent and strong willed adults. They will be able to express themselves and navigate the world confidently without the need to seek approval first.
If you have anymore questions or would like to discuss this further with us please feel free to email us!